The Black Dog Is Back

Yep that is right, the black dog has made a return as this week has worn on. No matter how much I have giggled with the Loreena,Tracey & Peta at the LSS I have felt myself slipping into the pit of despair. The cause? The stress of James & all that he is putting the family through. I have immersed myself in my scrapping hoping it would heal me as it normally does, but no. I am back to withdrawing into myself & hiding again. I spent my day today in pjs, which is nice anyway but when you crawl back into bed at 9am & do not surface again until 2pm...you know the black dog has got you good!

Last night I was chatting with someone who I have always thought so highly of about matters that have made me ache for a very long time...as much as I could type the brave things I know I should feel totally within myself....that black hole in my head was taunting me as I read the screen. The laughter was false, I could not raise a smile although a photo of her little man did make me giggle..what a cutie!

I just do not know how to remedy it all this time around. I am even pulling out of a much anticipated Crop day next weekend because I just can not put on the face of happiness or sit there feeling lost...the day is all about friendships & tonnes of laughter...so whilst this dog has me captive, I am better to stay away. No feeling sorry or saying oh Woe Is Me...I am simply typing here how I feel at this moment in time...what has caused me to feel this way. So before anyone thinks that I am saying Woe Is Me.....its not the case...it is purely me getting the thoughts out of my head & down onto my blog!

I better get moving to find something to occupy my mind for the rest of the night. I have managed a couple of LO's this week.